Hot Girl Health

How many people have you stalked on social media?  We’ve all done it to someone at one point in time.  But if we’ve all done it to someone, it’s a high likelihood that someone has done it to you too. 

How do I define “access”?  

Access is people being see you whenever they wish, possessing the ability to read your life like a book, or being able to know what you are up to through one means or another. Some people only want to know what’s going on with you so they can have that information in their back pocket.  Some people use it as an invisible string, ready to tug on a rainy, lonely day. Others want to know what you’re doing so they can compare themselves or their lives, wish negative energy on you, or silently wait for a downfall. It might sound negative to think that way, but it’s not meant to be victimizing rather than aware. The smallest amount of people are the ones who are actually rooting for you, the largest group are people who are apathetic, and then finally there’s the unknown(?) hate watchers. Maybe you have history with them, maybe it’s a one sided competition, or maybe they don’t know you but want to be you, but it’s all possible and hidden in the curated age.

So what can be done about “monitoring spirits” and do they even matter? Are people who watch in the background without participating harmless or no?

I believe it does matter, more in some situations than others. My first tip applies to relationship monitoring spirits: stop them before they can start haunting. Don’t be afraid to cut people fully off. And I don’t only mean ignoring/no contact, but stonewalling them at every avenue as much as possible. It doesn’t matter if it’s years of history or one text, if they aren’t for you or aren’t good for you, then take back your power. Don’t wait until their influence swings back around. Block from every known and possible source of connection to you. If this means making your profile private, blocking or changing numbers, and ditching mutual friends then do it. PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR PEACE.  It is better to start over than to continue on a sinking ship, jump off before you get to the bottom. 

And if you think “I won’t block my ex so they can see how good I’m doing”, it’s all the more reason to cut it off.  You aren’t healed and this won’t help, it’ll only fill you with fake and pointless validation or possibly spiraling if you don’t end up getting it.  If you are actively seeking attention from this person thinking “well I look good” “I want them to see me doing good, living life, xyz,” trust me they know.  They know, and they still don’t care about you, and that is okay.  Instead of chasing what’s not coming to you, it’s more powerful to completely cut their vision of you all together, total blackout.  Severing a connection silently is often more powerful than going out in a blaze of flames. The slow burn, the creeping realization that it’s completely over, that they can’t siphon or have power over you again, is much more lasting.  It’s much more jarring to go from everything to nothing in the blink of an eye, without a fuss. And let’s say they really don’t care at all that you’re gone from their life and none of this applies, then them leaving was completely inevitable.  There are no what ifs other than what if you wasted more time in a soulless one way connection.  Be thankful for the exit.

Cutting mutual friends might be a controversial take, especially if you feel like you have your own relationships outside of the rogue connection, but I’ve personally experienced accidentally giving access to myself to past links by still keeping said mutual friend(s) in my life.  I didn’t even realize my past link was keeping tabs on me this way until a mutual casually said so, not realizing it was something I didn’t want.  A few more things happened with the mutual and now having gone no contact and ghost from them all, I feel free from them all and the past.  You can’t really predict who is information gathering about you, but you can make sure that the only people who have access are the ones you truly want. It might mean shaking up your world some temporarily, being “alone”, but the eventual peace and redirection will come, trust yourself to move on, and thrive.

What about online monitoring spirits? The type that is the most prevalent, but the most empty in my opinion. The only things you can do are 1) be careful what you post and 2) heavily curate who sees it. The silent story views really do nothing for you. Unless being an influencer is your job, they don’t benefit your life and they don’t mean anything deeper than the screen. One problem with social media and their effect on interpersonal connections is that people give too much weight to it. The screen blocks more feeling than people think. Compare looking at someone’s profile before you actually meet them to after. The entire energy can shift, for good or bad, when you finally do look them in their eyes and talk to them versus looking at staged photos. This logic applies to monitoring spirits. A five second picture on the screen is really often not that deep, it’s nothing compared to old fashioned human connection. I especially believe this for potential or dead relationship attachments you think are blossoming or rekindling through an unspoken internet blip, when it’s really just people being able to watch without the pressures of actually having to be there.

Being an open person doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, but people often don’t feel the consequences of it until it’s being weaponized against you, someone has blindsided you, or you’re learning a hard lesson in hindsight. Discernment might take some experience, but learning when to pull back or shut up and to whom is a skill worth learning. And online, people will always silently and mindlessly watch if you let them, both your highest highs and lowest lows. The rule to remember is that if it’s consumable it’s being consumed. You might think “I only get 1 like, nobody is seeing this” but drama and light attracts moths to the flame. Be smart about being perceived and live your life without performing for ghosts.

I don’t believe that all monitoring spirits are harmless, even if they don’t physically impact your life, they do through energy and through consciousness (especially if it’s someone you’re thinking of while reading this). The true way to combat monitoring spirits though is by helping yourself. Love yourself enough to fully and fatally sever what doesn’t benefit your life anymore. Most importantly don’t be afraid to shut the door behind you for good, so the spirits can’t come back in.

Do people watch you? Do you let your exs keep tabs on you? Let me know below.

Thank you for reading!!!!